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| I'm anything but ORDINARY |
| 07.30.04 (11:13 am) [edit] |
time: 11:17 am
mood: evasive *que mission impossible theme music*
music: lets go find some! (*time passes*) Vindicated, off the Spider-Man 2 soundtrack
Re-reading my last entry, I swear it may be a possibility that I could be borderline manic-drepressive. It’s weird…up one day, down the next, repeat…
So I need to figure out how to make some money. The first response to that would be the easiest, “well, work, you dork.” Which makes sense on the surface. The problem however, is that I hate the work I do for my parents’ business. It’s a “desk job” that requires scanning, filing, etc. etc. This is not what I want to do. Maybe I do need to get my head out of my ass, but seriously, I hate doing this kind of thing.
The problem is, though, I’m not sure what else I can do. Yes, I could go get an outside job, but it still wouldn’t be the one I want to be doing. I either want to be making money by selling my written works (…which, if we don’t include the poetry, are as of yet unwritten) or by selling my photography. The second option there is a real one. Problem number X: I have no idea how to start that out. I know very little about business… I don’t know all the much about photography except how to take the literal picture. I don’t develop them myself yet, as I don’t know how (learning this semester). I’m not sure how I’d sell them…team up with a coffee house? Get a studio? See…I really don’t know. I want to…like, want to to the degree of salivating over that option. This is what I want to do. I want to travel the world, take great photo’s, and sell them to support myself. That is my plan. Of course, like the person I am, I want it to be happening NOW. I don’t want to wait till I’m out of college, till I know WHAT I’m doing…I just want to get started already.
Anyway. The reason I bring it up is I’m, by the 20th of this month, $984 in debt. Why? How can a teenager who doesn’t have a credit card or spend loads of cash be in THAT much debt? Well, I got my license in December of 2002, and decided that, one way or another, I was going to get a new Toyota Matrix. My parents and I came up with the plan of how to get it. I’d save money, put down half the down payment, then pay half the insurance and payment every month.
I worked hard. I worked at our local fair for nearly its entire run, and made $1400. I added that to the $400 I’d saved, matched by my parents, and we put the down-payment on my $17,000 (with taxes included) baby on July 7th (’03). For a few months, I still had the money to pay half the payments. Well, I don’t really have a continuous job, so therefore I don’t have a continuous supply of income. For 6 months or so, I’ve had next to zilch. My parents are luckily not sweating me about it, but its something that’s on my mind. Now with college starting, how am I going to have time to work? I’m taking 16 units…stress stress stress.
Anybody have any advice? A legal way to make a quick buck that requires little time? (hahhahaha…I’m so funny)
So today I’m going to be cleaning my room, continuing the nothing that I’m doing now (sitting on my butt! What a lovely butt it is too…), and who knows what else. Tomorrow I may go see Spider-Man 2 with my parents, after hanging out with my grandma and my uncle’s cat (O_o…) for a few hours.
Anyway. God, I’m really weird sometimes. I feel completely and utterly random right now.
Love to all, peace,
-Kells
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| You keep being taught |
| 07.27.04 (10:17 pm) [edit] |
but you never learn
Time: 10:44 pm
Mood: really kinda bitchy
Music: none
I should really get it through my head to just write these in Word when I'm on my computer. When I KNOW my computer is sick...I'm removing files, running fucking programs left and right to remove what some fuckwad thought would be fun to think up, you REALLY think I'd get it through my thick SKULL to write it up in Word.
Yeah. Had a huge long, pouring my heart out entry written, when the computer froze. WMP was still working, heh, so I still had coldplay in my ears, but it wouldn't even restart. So I manually shut the bitch down and I don't even care to start it up again. It can just be dead for the rest of the night. Why do people make up viruses? If you're that freaking lonely, get a prostitute.
Okay. so my whole "not holding back in the blog" thing is going well. I've felt like I completely censor myself, and it's annoying to me, so I'm not going to do it anymore.
The last few days have been busy, busy, busy. Tuesday the 20th was our Sash test, and both of us passed. We’re now yellow sashes. It was nerve racking, and we sucked (we watched the video of it later…both my parents were there and my mom taped us), but we passed. Now I’m wishing we hadn’t, cause yellow seems to be hard. The first yellow sash class for us was tonight, and …it was not easy. Then, our first private lesson with new material (which has been moved from 6:30 to 8:30...making it more difficult) was tonight as well, and it was not good. I was not doing well, kept getting told to keep my eyes up (which is hard and I wasn’t doing it), falling all over myself… At the end I was barely keeping my tears at bay, which is not something that has happened in kung fu for about 5.5 months. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Maybe that time of the month is upon me again…who knows. Either way, not a good night.
So, then, on Thursday I took my placement (3.5 hours of my life!…), thought I’d lost my keys on campus… I guessed my way through half the math (the intermediate algebra test) and did really well, or at least I thought, on the English. Finally got that out of the way, which was good, as registration was…
Friday, the next day. Got up at about 7:25, went downstairs, credit card ready, and got all of my classes that I’d obsessed about the night before. Photography I, Theater 100, Theater 131, Philosophy 112, English 126 (as long as they take my AP credit), and, when wait list starts 8/9, Art 159 (photog lab practice). Not wait listed on any of them! Then, after I’d registered, I went to school to get my results. Got the highest English you can (120...so I’m confused as to what it really means…I think, with AP, I don’t have to take it, and as far as I know can move around the order in which I take them after 122. I hope), and then got a pretty good Math score as well (120-178...much higher than the 90 I was expecting). So, I’ve got all my classes. I’m excited…a little nervous as to how I’m going to balance this (esp. since I need to work too…gah!!!) but I think it’ll work out alright, and if not, I can drop classes. The only thing that sucks is if I’m going to drop some, I’ll be wanting to drop theater 100, but, if I drop 100, I have to drop 131, since they have to be taken concurrently. 131 is intermediate acting, while 100 is “fundamentals of theater”…blah. But we’ll see.
Saturday. My mom and I went to see Train. They rocked the fucking house. 2500 people or so at Viejas…it was awesome. They played for 2.5 hours (damn, my legs hurt after that. “Standing room only”) with no opening act, and were awesome. So charismatic, very very good (best guitar solo’s I’ve ever heard) and funny (lead singer: “Hey, who wants to take 3 minutes with me and go to Cold Stone?” (which was next door) *turns to others in band* “Not you guys, you’re working…”) If you like them on the CD, you’ll love them live.
Sunday, the Cants came over and had dinner with us. I was a brat. Sometimes, I can’t balance the “Kelly with friends” and the “kelly with family.” I’m going to be working on that. It annoys the hell out of me, and I feel like I’m not showing my true self to either my friends or my family. They’re going to La Quinta with us (for 4 days, 3 nights) in a week or two and it’ll be my own trial of sorts. To be completely real the whole time. We’ll see. I think if I put effort into it I can do it.
So that pretty much leads me to today. Which was doing a little bit of work (30 minutes on the website), taking files off my computer, sleeping, lunch with mom, then kung fu. And I’m in a bad mood, depressed, grouchy…and I’m not srue why. It really could be “my little friend” ( I hate the “secret” ways of saying period. How stupid are they? Don’t get them.) is on “its” way but I guess only time will tell with that one. What, some people pay attention to when they’re due? Heheh...not me.
Anyway, this little bratty butt is going to go to bed. I’ll close with a quote from “Anyway” by Kent Keith, which I just started reading.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
Hugs, peace,
-Kelly
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| I'm gonna live where the green grass grows |
| 07.23.04 (7:21 pm) [edit] |
watch my corn pop up in rows
every night be tucked in close to you
-Tim McGraw
time: 7:44 pm on a light, sunny Friday in July
mood: strange
music: none
So I'm back from the trip. Made it back at around 4 pm on Monday. It was very fun. We went to the grand canyon and saw a lot of interesting things...got to hang out with my aunt (ex-aunt to be nice and anal about it) and then we headed into New Mexico, where we decided to stay in Albuquerque. All I can really say is...when you cross the California border...strange things start occuring to your brain. For example, my cousin and I, who never, NEVER listen to country music, developed a strange need to listen to it, that lasted until...okay so we're STILL listening. The madness! Also, a strange need for cowboy hats happened as well. We got those in Albuquerque. I kept a list of all of the strange, odd things we saw, and really, it was quite a long list for two states.
We started to get quite perturbed with Arizona while we were trying to get to Williams, I'll tell you that. So the list started as a "Why Arizona is so fucking screwed up" kind of thing, and turned into a fun momento of all the weird things we saw along the way.
Cali-'Zona
*Three names for one freeway. - One of the reasons we got so lost and ended up not driving around Phoenix, but straight through it.
*"Table Mesa Road" - 'nuff said.
*the I-10 "W' when the direction we were going was North.
*A pelican 30 + miles from water on the Cali/Zona border. - Apparently the people aren't the only stupid things... ;)
*Frontage roads with no exits. - We got stuck on a frontage road that was, for the first half of it, a one way. Then, to get to the freaking Chevron (which was why we were off the freeway to begin with) we had to drive through major construction...dirt.... We kept thinking "there has to be a way to get back on the freeway! It's a frontage road!!" Yeaah.
*"Cracker" Barrel. - Us Californians and our perverted minds. Of course the thing that pops into our heads is "CRACKER" (the running joke "I bet there aren't any black people there...)
*Everybody Poops - At the Grand Canyon, we were running out of topics. Obviously.
*Everybody farts. - after eeating Arizona food for two days.
*"Pie, Pie, Me oh My." - WE had PIE!
*Chasing away ravens, running from bees. - an irony? The ravens wanted the food...but the bees wanted us. At the Grand Canyon.
*Bold Squirrels - that needed to be physically hit (not hard! they were little) to get them to leave. It was like with a bunny rabbit...smack it on the nose...thats what my aunt had to do. :lol:
*Contemplating "death by Grand Canyon - jump" ~ morbid. - on the drive...we hadn't hit el centro and we're like "damn , that'd suck...what if you didn't die...and then the vultures came..." yeah.
*Ahmish Kicthen. - a random sign in the middle of no where. This wasn't far from the pelican.
*Sequence. - a Fun Card-Board game! some of the stuff on the list is very random.
*Chicken Hat...or Dog?!?! - We were driving behind a truck and we coulda sworn it was a dog. Well, we passed it, and like the dorks we are were staring, and it was a person wearing a chicken hat (ya know, with the head and tail feathers?) sideways.
'Zona-New Mexico
*"Groendyke Trucking" - is there a lesbian in the cab? - we were sleep deprvied and bored. I swear that's how it was spelled.
*New Mexico - NEW HELL!!! - that was after getting stuck in Santa Fe, which I decided was populated because people. couldn't. leave!
*No road/street signs. - Seriously. We'd drive by a road and be like "hmm..i wonder if that was the one...who knows!!!"
*Convetion in Santa Fe - no rooms?! - We got stuck in a huge storm, thunder and lightening and buckets of rain and all, and so we decided we weren't gonna try to get to Arizona (this is on the way back) and we had to stay in Santa Fe. Except, of the 25 or so hotels we called, all the ones in the AAA book under $100...there weren't any rooms. "Whats the nearest place with a room?" "Albuquerque." An hour away.
*Awesome lightening.
*Never gonna leave Albuquerque. - we ended up in the same hotel as the first night, in the same room.
*"Happy Valley Road" because you're out of Phoenix. - Yeah, Phoenix sucks.
*Montezuma's Castle. - Very cool! And only $3 to see....and unlike Erin thought, it was not just a hole in the cliff miles away...hehe.
*"World Famous Dateland!!" Three buildings. - too funny. So many world famous things in Arizona! ;)
*I-25...are we going North or South?!!? - more infamous "no fucking SIGNS!" in Nex Mexico problems.
*"Can't miss shiprock.." ...oh yes you can... :? .. - apparently it was right as you get into New Mexico....*shrugs*
*Tipping hats to truckers...another meaning?!!? - I was tipping my cowboy hat until Erin said not to..they were following us.
*Aliens at Gila Bend. - We had stopped at a shell (or mobile..we dont know) on the way to Williams...on the way back through...we couldn't find it! O_o...
*Bathtub in the middle of the desert. - my cousin and her artistic ideas.
*Entombed in a plastic paper weight. - we read a funny article about a guy who loved the ones with scorpians, so he thought he'd get entombed in one when he died. (Obviously a satiracle/sarcastic writer, but funny nonetheless)
*Swollen tongue in Albuquerque, and only Albuquerque. - No, my cousin isn't crazy...O_o...she thinks it was the "radiation." :lol:
*Miraculous Stairway - carved from one piece of wood. - We are such smartasses, and no we don't really think that.
*Everyone singing "Wasting Away Again in Margaritaville" in Lamy, NM. - We took a train ride and at the end, it was an impromptu concert! I don't know the song, so I smiled and took pictures. haha.
*Good thing we had stampede strings!! - On our hats (cowboy!)...very windy in Lamy.
*Free drinks on the train. - The bartender was hitting on Erin.
*good BBQ.
*First sunset, Santa Fe. - It'd been cloudly and rainy in Arizona.
*"Where's Buckeye?" - my parents reaction. It's outside of Phoenix if anyone cared to know. Yeah, I didn't know before either. haha.
*Swimming in Buckeye. - finally, some form of exercise besides singing and walking. haha.
*Tune to 1610 AM Meteor Crater and Wilcox..."A Town in Motion!" - Because everyone drriiiiives through it...like Yuma too.
So yes, there's the list. I'll write about everything ELSE that's happened since tomorrow. This entry is already too long. *hugs*
-Kells
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| Come on get happy! It's a song that we're singing... |
| 07.13.04 (11:03 pm) [edit] |
time: 11:54 pm
mood: GOOD!
music: none
I'm leaving tomorrrooooow!!! I'm excited, but rushed. I hope everything goes welll....no car problems or such. I'm nervous about no kung fu for a week, but I'm going to try to practice in the hotel room. I'm gonna miss my parents! And my brother! I don't think I've ever vacationed away from them...so this shall be new. I love them. :) Anyway, still really happy about that 5 on the exam...hehehe...and feeling pretty darn good about the year to come. love to all, peace,
-kelly
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| ow |
| 07.13.04 (9:35 am) [edit] |
time: 10:00 am
mood: sooorrre my legs!
music: none
So, it's been a while. Yesterday was...interesting, and I had lots of goods and annoyances.
Annoyance: Bro's girlfriend staying an extra four hours, when we had things to do.
Annoyance: Parents LETTING her stay, when we had things to do dammit!
Annoyance: Being a chouffer to the bro and his girlfriend.
Great: Seeing darling Nicole.
Good: Seeing Harry Potter 3.
Good: Getting out of the house.
Great: Getting a five (1-5) on my AP exam. AHA *goes nuts*
So, it's been an interesting 24 hours to say the least...some good, some really annoying, and some really good. I love my friends...and the results from that AP exam really got me out of my funk for a bit. :lol:
Today me mom and I are getting me ready to go on my road trip with Erin. I love my parents, but they can annoy me (as seen yesterday). But...ya know, they're not too bad...hehe. I love them...and my brother. :roll:
I need jeans...I need to pack my car...I need to check the first aid kit...I need to go to Kung Fu! gah. and I need to clean my room. And get a good night sleep. Hehe. It should be fun, and I'll be back Monday, but from Monday to Tuesday evening, I'll be doing Kung Fu and not much else. Next Tuesday is the test for yellow. I'm nervous, but my instructor says that both my bro and I will do fine. I hope he rights and I don't fuck up anything too bad.
Alright, well, love ya all, later (Monday!)
-Kelly
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| "All good things are wild, and free." |
| 07.04.04 (12:25 pm) [edit] |
- Henry David Thoreau
time: 1:05 pm
mood: good
music: none
Last night my dad and I stayed up until 2 am talking about the current state of the world's politics and situations. We discused things such as gay marriage (concentration on the word marriage), the war in Iraq, who the future presidency should go to, etc. It was quite informative and I learned that a lot of things I feel strongly about my father feels strongly about in the complete opposite way. Doesn't make me love him less, just makes part of me want to work harder in convincing him that I'M right. :wink:
We decided on a way to "solve" the gay marriage "problem" as well as who should be president. I think Kerry should, while he thinks Bush should. We also decided that if any generation is going to turn this wayward world around, it'll be mine. Which I fully believe in. We've got the mind-power and availability to information to do it. Will we? I don't know.
If that isn't American, I don't know what is. Staying up till the late hours of the morning discussing the future of this country and the world with your father and trying to come to terms with each others' views as well as try to solve the problems...It was great. I think this impromptu conversation couldn't have been better placed.
Happy 228th birthday, little U.S.A. You have your problems, like any other youngin', but in the end, I have faith in you.
Right now my brother and I are going to head in to get some fireworks from my uncle. SHHHH... :-D Later today my family and I are going to go to dinner in a beautiful part of the city and then see the fireworks afterward. Should be fun.
All of you, have safe, fun, wonderful days. *hugs* to all. Peace,
-Kelly
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